


Lapsang's (hopefully) Lovely Limericks

by soufflegirl91



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), London Spy
Genre: I haven't actually seen all of LS don't judge me, Limericks, M/M, Pampuria and Turing, gratuitous Percy Pig references, mostly based on fanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:40:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27452866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soufflegirl91/pseuds/soufflegirl91
Summary: On the Ninth of November, I hearThere’s a birthday that we should all cheerYes, our Lapsang-and-EarlgreyIs celebrating her birthday,And you’ll find my gift for her right here.
Relationships: James Bond/Danny Holt/Q/Alex Turner
Comments: 12
Kudos: 7
Collections: Lap's Birthday Lovefest





	Lapsang's (hopefully) Lovely Limericks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lapsang_and_earlgrey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lapsang_and_earlgrey/gifts).



> On the Ninth of November, I hear  
> There’s a birthday that we should all cheer  
> Yes, our Lapsang-and-Earlgrey  
> Is celebrating her birthday,  
> And you’ll find my gift for her right here. 
> 
> (Before I start, though, here’s something to know:  
> Our Lap shares her birthday with a show.  
> Though it made us all cry,  
> If we watched London Spy,  
> It created the ship Lap loves so.)
> 
> Disclaimer 1: Most of these limericks are not connected to each other  
> Disclaimer 2: I’ve not seen all of London Spy and most of these are based on what I’ve picked up from fanon :D 
> 
> HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LAP! I hope these don't scar you too much ;-)

On the day Alex and Danny met,  
They couldn’t have guessed it quite yet,  
That soon they’d be a foursome  
With the cats, even more-some,  
On that day that the future was set.

Neither Bond nor Q would have expected  
(you could say they had never suspected)  
That they’d find two more lovers  
To sleep under the covers,  
Of the massive new bed they erected. 

When SPECTRE blew up, Pam discovered  
Her new home was with Bond, and she shuddered.   
But soon she found that  
Being James Bond’s house cat  
Meant four hoomans and one new cat brother. 

Danny Holt’s favourite sweet was a Percy,  
He made all the cashiers beg for mercy  
Every time he would call   
In Marks & Spencer food hall,  
And he took every last single Percy.

(What’s a Percy, you ask. Well, you see,  
It’s a chewy, pink type of candy,  
Shaped like a pig’s face  
With a gelatin base,  
And a series of spinoffs or three.)

Now, Alex’s true love was cheese.  
He could get through a whole block with ease.   
Though the others would stare  
As he munched camembert,  
They were happy to see him at ease.

Let us not forget dear little Turing,  
Who, through all his cuddles and purring,  
Is like cat therapy,  
(though he can’t cure Bond’s knee),  
He can keep the bad feelings from stirring.

I couldn’t miss out Danny’s peaches,  
See, he thinks they are his greatest features.  
He wanders round with his buns out  
Every time that the sun’s out  
No matter how much their old neighbour screeches. 


End file.
